Last night, I went out to dinner at an Indian restaurant with my friend Tracey. She started telling me about her colleagues at work, then her voice suddenly trailed off.
“You were saying something about your clients…?” I encouraged her.
“I got bored with my story,” she replied, going back to her masala.
I laughed. Her honesty was so refreshing. I wish more people would cut themselves off when even they weren’t interested in what they were saying.
On a more serious note, it made me wonder how many of us are bored with our own stories, not only in the moment, but also in the bigger picture of our lives. When I’ve become profoundly bored, my spirit “checks out,” and I feel deeply disconnected from myself and the world. I feel like I’m “going through the motions” and sometimes even wonder what I’m doing here in this body and on the planet at all. I also feel tremendously sad and alone. While I’m fortunately not in that place right now, I can certainly relate to anyone who is.
“Let’s talk about something more interesting,” Tracey suggested. This conversation was turning out to be quite the metaphor. Once we disconnect from life, it’s important to find things that stimulate us so we feel motivated to “check back in.” When I’ve been bored at my job and couldn’t change it to make it more interesting, I invested myself in old and new hobbies to feel engaged and challenged outside of work. I’ve also found it helpful to reconnect or to connect more often with people who “see” and understand me, people I’m excited to talk to and spend time with. Another one of my favorite tricks is to eat or drink really delicious food that makes my heart sing. While that may sound silly, it works. Even just having a sensual culinary experience reminds me why I’m happy to be alive. Any enjoyable sensual experience would do the trick, relaxing in a hot bath, smelling fragrant flowers…anything that brings us back into our bodies and to a place of joy, if only for a few moments.
“Tell me, what’s new and exciting with you?” Tracey then asked. This brings me to my last reconnecting technique: focusing on other people. During those times that I feel bored and dead inside, not everyone else around me does. Asking about things that they care about and listening attentively to their animated stories often helps to reignite my own passion, first vicariously, then directly.
So, rather than feeling the need to keep trudging through life when we feel disconnected and uninspired, we should all follow Tracey’s example: Just stop and admit, “I’m bored with my story.” Then, just like those children’s books where you can choose or write your own ending, change the plot, and if necessary, the characters. Soon, you’ll once again be the leading character in your own fascinating tale.
© 2010 by Laurie Gardner
