“Che brutto giorno!” (“What an ugly day!”) the woman scowled, dragging on her cigarette as she looked out at the pouring rain, flooding the streets into rivers.
Rosario and I felt otherwise. Laughing as we splashed through the puddles, we jumped from doorstep to doorstep, stopping to make out and embrace under each dry alcove. We arrived back to his car, cranked the stereo, and danced and sang at the top of our lungs to upbeat songs while the storm crashed all around us.
An ugly day? Not at all. That was one of the most fun days I’ve had in a while.
Joy is an attitude. Play is a choice. Being happy is a lot more attainable than you think.
Somehow, we’ve gotten it into our heads that joy is something we need to spend a lifetime searching for. We even look at it as work: we must clear away all of our negative experiences and habits, trying to get a piece of the all-elusive happiness. Even after working on ourselves for years, we fear we may never experience joy.
What if it were a lot simpler than that? What if it were a lot more fun?
When I first met Rosario, I was struck by how happy he was. Rowing a boat across the beautiful turquoise bay, he told me how much he loved his job, appreciated his family, and loved living by the sea. He told me again a few days later, “Il mio cuore è veramente pieno di gioia.” (“My heart is truly full of joy.”)
He could have chosen to view his life very differently: “Man, I’m almost 30, and I’m still not married.” “I hate that my job makes me travel all over the world, and I never get to spend time with my friends and family.” “I’m angry that I can’t afford to buy my own house in the place I want to live,” etc.
Instead, he’s choosing joy. At first, I thought perhaps he was just simple-minded: How could someone be so happy? But as I got to know him over the next few days, I realized that his joy is genuine. He lives fully in each moment, appreciates the simple things in life (as well as the complex), and often bursts into spontaneous passion and play.
I’ve learned more about true joy from this young Sicilian in less than a week than I have in my entire lifetime so far. The guy has simply and intuitively decided that his time on this planet is going to be fun. He’s not naïve to the struggles around him, nor free from struggle himself. He just chooses to approach life with a positive attitude.
What if, like Rosario, we decided that even with all of our “baggage” and personal struggles, we came here to enjoy ourselves? That in any given moment, we can choose to be happy rather than to suffer? What if we decided that happiness and joy were possible right now?
Sound too simple to be true? Try it! Put aside your cynicism, your doubt, your lack of trust. The next time something potentially difficult confronts you, ask yourself how you could experience it as something joyful. Horrible rain storm or private dance party? Your choice….
© 2008 by Laurie Gardner
