No one ever talks about letting go of your dreams. But sometimes we have to be Who We Are in a different way.
I awoke nauseous this morning, standing in the Abyss that is my life – giving up the dreams I’ve so doggedly pursued for the past several years. My book didn’t help millions as a bestseller. I’m barely scraping by. I still haven’t met my Mr. Right. I know I’ve helped many people, which I am grateful for. But for whatever reason (which I have processed to death emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually), things just didn’t happen for me, at least not the way I wanted them to. As a result, I’ve often felt like a failure and fraud deep inside.
I’ve worked hard to let go of my painful past. I just let go of my future. I am Here now, that’s all I know. Perhaps that’s all we can ever know.
I can’t stop being who I am. I will always want to help people live happier, fuller lives. I want that for me too. But from now on, I will just focus on BEING that, rather than doing that in any specific way. I am also releasing worrying about the extent of my impact and will simply keep putting the message out there.
My goal from here is to do my best to shine love and light in whatever I do, moment to moment, each and every day.
© 2016 Laurie Gardner
