When’s the last time you had really amazing sex? When’s the last time you’ve moaned in ecstasy during an orgasm or while eating or drinking something that made your toes curl? When’s the last time you’ve gasped with delight at the beauty of a painting or sculpture, hooted spontaneously, or were moved to joyful tears by the colors of a really beautiful sunset? When’s the last time you’ve expressed uninhibited, passionate pleasure about anything?
When I visited Italy, the whole country was alive with passion, in their approach to sex, food, art, fashion, and wine. For them, passion is vehicle for creativity and joy, and is paramount to living a good life. What have the Italians figured out that the rest of us have forgotten?
Humans are sentient beings, born with the innate ability to experience pleasure and passion, not just sexual, but for life. In Eastern philosophy, there’s a whole energy center in the body (the second chakra) devoted to our sensuality, sexual energy, and passion. This energy underlies our ability to fully enjoy life and all it has to offer.
Unfortunately, thanks to the societal influence of various religious leaders, intellectuals, and politicians over the ages, human passion has been severely repressed in many places of the world. Passion was given a bad rap, as something selfish or “dirty.” As a result, humans have become more of a thinking, rather than feeling, species. Even in Italy, Sensuality Capitol of the World, I met people who were completely caught up in their heads and using their brains to control their lives, rather than allowing themselves to just feel. Many people are so intellectualized that they are too scared or don’t remember how to feel and literally have trouble naming what their feelings are in any given moment.
As kids, we were completely open, constantly expressing our every emotion. As adults, we sadly seemed to have lost the ability to let go and lose control.
I’m not advocating that we all become a bunch of reckless hedonists, completely ignoring our brains and following only our impulses and desires. What I am recommending is that we regain balance between our emotions, intellect, spirit, and body. The imbalance is often caused by allowing our brains to control the other three parts of ourselves, rather than encouraging all four to work together as a team.
Too often, we work ourselves to death, leaving ourselves too stressed out and exhausted at the end of the day and week to have time and energy for pleasure. Other times, we use up so much of ourselves taking care of others that we’re too numb to give any pleasure to ourselves. You deserve to feel passion and pleasure. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise!
The secret to amazing sex and other passions is giving yourself permission to let go and experience pleasure. Without judgment, fear, or criticism of yourself or others, just allow yourself to receive. Cook and eat food you enjoy, paint, write, give yourself a screaming orgasm, watch movies that unleash your emotions, indulge at least once a week in your favorite hobby…or all of the above. Smell, taste, hear, look, feel. Allow yourself to be completely open and blissfully vulnerable to pleasure, sensual passion, and beauty. Gobble it all in and ingest it on a cellular level, until it becomes part of you.
Your homework assignment this week is to identify at least one thing that will make you scream or moan with pleasure. Your homework assignment by the end of next week is to experience it. I expect a full report….
Passionately yours,
Laurie
© 2025 by Laurie Gardner
