I was visiting a quaint, historical city with my friend Suzanne, who had just slept over 10 hours that night. Although she had managed to control the urge to check her Blackberry for most of ourbrief vacation, she made the mistake of sneaking a quick peek.
“Ugh, I’m so exhausted; I hardly got any sleep at all last night,” she moaned. “I dread going back home today; it’s going to be cold and miserable there. And now, my boss wants me to…oh, never mind,” she trailed off. She exhaled loudly and sat down on the bed. “I can’t wait until I finally have enough energy again to do fun things without feeling so run-down all the time.”
I’ve learned never to share my observations or advice unless asked. However, something told me to speak up. Still, I thought I’d better ask permission first.
“Suzanne, you’ve always been great about putting my life back in perspective when I’ve gotten off track,” I began. “Would it be OK with you if I shared a couple of thoughts?”
With a slightly nervous look on her face, she nodded.
“You know how they call New Orleans “the Big Easy?” I asked. She nodded again.
“Well, sometimes we need close friends and family to point out “the Big Duh.”
“The Big Duh?” she laughed, confused.
“Yeah, something that’s so obvious to others from the outside, but really hard for us to see when we’re too ‘in it’ ourselves. Like when everyone we’re close to knows we’re in the wrong relationship, but we’re too mired in our emotions to realize it.”
“I’ve been there,” she chuckled.
“Well, in this case, your Big Duh is that you’ve got it backwards. You keep saying that as soon as you feel energetic and healthy again, you’ll do all of these great things that make you happy. However, until you deliberately choose to be happy by leaving your stressful job and the city where your body constantly feels cold and unwell, you’re going to continue to feel run-down and bummed out.”
Suzanne said slowly, “Wait, so my current job and situation is what’s making me feel so tired and unhappy?”
“You got it,” I answered. “Think about it: if the email you’d just received said you won a free air ticket to anywhere in the world, do you think you would be feeling as drained?”
A huge light bulb went off, and Suzanne cracked up. “The Big Duh,” she laughed.
“The Big Duh,” I smiled.
Once you recognize the Big Duh, it’s not too far to the Big Easy. Or at least, to start having a helluva lot more fun.
© 2011 by Laurie Gardner
